Faithful Healing

Man, the month of April was busy for me! On April 2nd, I went to the spring formal with my friend and her boyfriend. We stayed long enough to enjoy the food trucks and then decided to leave and hang out elsewhere. We had more fun driving around in the middle of the night than we did at the formal.

On April 5th, I decided to surprise my Mom for her birthday. She thought she wasn’t going to see me until the next day, and only for a few hours because I had a doctor’s appointment. She opened the door and promptly burst into tears and hugged me tight. She was so happy to see me! It felt so good to surprise her. April 6th, I went to my appointment early that morning and then had to drive 3 hours home shortly after. That evening, I got to meet and hangout with those who will be on my RA team for this upcomng school year.

April 9th was probably one of the most imprtant days this month. It was something we do on campus called The Big Event. This is a day where students gather and go into to the community doiing service projects. I get to enjoy serving others while being on a team of my closest friends. The next day, 2 of my best friends and I decided to go out and and have a few drinks. We were finally able to relax and let loose after a few stressful weeks. We all all agreed that this was the most fun we had had in awhile. We spent the day laughing and teasing each other.

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything, but that’s just life. While April was a busy month for me, it has to have been my favorite month this year. The things that made this month busy were things that I truly enjoy and love doing. In March, I had been presented with many amazing opportunities that would help me grow not only in my future career, but in my faith, and as a person. While all of these opportunities were amazing, I knew I couldn’t take all of them and had some decisions to make. During that process, I struggled to believe that I deserved any of these opportunities because I felt like I hadn’t earned them. If you know me, you know I don’t like having things handed to me, I have to work hard and earn them.

On April 1st, I had the opportunity to talk to one of my closest friends and explain to her how I was feeling. She just sat there and listened while I talked for what felt like hours. My friend has been there for me since my first semester of college and has watched me grow in my faith and into the woman I am today. That night, she made me realize that I was more than deserving of the opportunities that were being presented to me. She reminded me of who I was when we first met and who I have become. She also reminded me that this was all a part of God’s plan and that I just need to continue to trust him. Once I do that, everything will fall into place.

Shortly after our conversation that night, I decided to go to my room to pray and reflect on my choices. I asked God to give me a sign. To point me in the direction he wanted me to go. On April 2nd, I was entering my building and saw something sitting on the ID scanner. At first, I just glared at it and walked inside. After a moment, I decided to go back and read the card, which had a verse from Zechariah written on it. Once I read the card a few times, I realized it was God’s answer to my prayers. I no longer questioned or doubted the opportunities that had been presented to me and knew which ones to aim for.

Wow! I can’t believe it’s already April! March 2022 is definitely I month I will remember. On March 3rd, I was offered the Head RA position in my current dorm for the 2022-2023 school year. This was a position that I had been debating applying for and praying about for several weeks. So, to have this offer, really just solidified the fact that if I work hard enough, I can do anything I set my mind to. After praying about it for a few hours, I decided to accept the position. I realized that this offer was the Lord opening up a new door for me. As this all happened with in the first few days of the month, March was looking to be good month. Little did I know what was gonna happen the next few days.

On the morning of Friday, March 4th, I woke up with bad back pain and a low-grade fever. Originally, I just blew it off as stress from school and not sleeping very well. But the pain just intensified thrpughout the day, so that night, I ended up in the local emergency room, where I was diagnosed with a ruptured cyst. I was sent home with pain meds and stayed in a hotel with my parents for the night so they could monitor me. It was a rough night, so my parents drove me 3 hours home so I could recover comfortably. Throughout the weekend, I was just getting worse. By Sunday night, I was in really bad shape. I was super dizzy, and nauseous, and still in a ton of pain. It was taking a ton of energy just to look at the tv screen or change my position on the couch. Sunday night, my parents took me back to the ER, where I was told that I not only had the ruptured cyst I had been previously diagnosed with. But that I also had fluid in my stomach from the cyst, the Flu, a UTI, and low kidney function on my right side. Oh, and did I mention, that I was severely dehydrated with dangerously low potasssium levels? After that, I was admitted to the hospital Sunday night and discharged Tuesday morning.

That was the scariest thing I have ever experienced! While that experience was scary, it definitely changed me for the better. Since then, I feel like my view of the world and perspective of things has changed. I have found myself being more grateful and appreciative of the life I have. I have been extremely blessed!

February 2022 is a month I will never forget. After being saved by Christ in August 2021, I had made the decision that I wanted to be baptized. For a few months, I would register for baptism dates with my church and they would never work out. Well, it was finally able to happen! On February 2, 2022, I was baptized. I was baptized by someone who has been by my side through everything for the past year. She has been by my side as a boss, mentor, and friend, watching and helping me to grow in my faith. I am so grateful that I was able to be baptized by someone who means so much to me. This experience has made me thankful for the life the Lord has given me and for the people he has placed by my side, loving and supporting me each day.

This month also held a wonderful opportunity for me. It was time to reapply to be a resident in my dorm for the next school year. This time around though, I had a choice to make. I could either apply to stay in my current position as an RA or I could apply to be Head RA in my dorm. I debated applying for the Head RA position because I was afraid of the outcome. However, after a few weeks of thought and prayer, I decided to go for it. On February 28, I interviewed for that position and felt amazing. After my interview, I felt accomplished. It had gone better than I could’ve hoped for. At that moment, the Lord gave me the confidence and knowledge I needed in order to have a good interview.

In January, I was able to attend Psalm 139, an event for the ladies on Campus. This two-day event was an amazing, eye-opening experience for me. Just when I thought I had hit a dead-end and couldn’t grow anymore, the Lord showed me that learning and growing never stops. Part of the event was different breakout rooms, where different topics would be discussed. I attended one about spiritual gifts and one about redemption and trauma. The Lord led me to choose these two rooms because he knew they were what I needed at that moment.

In redemption and trauma, the Lord opened my eyes to some things that I already knew. He used two ladies and their stories to show me that it’s okay to ask for help. However, everyone is going to have their own story and receive help differently. While you and someone else may have similar stories, no one story will ever be the same. The Lord used this event to show me that it’s okay to struggle and that we as women are not alone. He showed me that it is our struggles that make us stronger. Our struggles don’t define us, it’s what we do and how we respond to them that should define us. Through this event, I was given reason and validation for my feelings and emotions at the time.

Day 6- My team and I finished a bunch of little tasks that we started at the beginning of our trip and then we got to present a slideshow about UMHB and success in college to a senior class. After dinner, we were able to watch a native dance and learn about the culture of the Navajo Nation. Once the dance ended, a few of us got to hang around and talk to a friend we met on this trip. Today, I realized that the Lord has put great people by my side.

Day 7- Today, we had some free time, so we decided to check out a local flea market, which was really cool. I got to see some amazing things. The market had everything from handmade blankets and jewelry, to homemade food. Tonight was my turn to cook, and since it was cold outside, I made chicken noodle soup from scratch. That night, I was reminded of why I love cooking for other people, it’s the reactions and smiles that make me enkoy cooking. I love taking care of other people and cooking is a way to do that.

Day 8- Today was our last full day in New Mexico. We woke up early and went to church, where we had the privelege of watching a family be baptized. It was so amazing to see an entire family coe together in the name of the Lord. After service, we went to a local restaurant where we got to try some more native food. Lokking back on this trip, I am extremely greatful for the opportunity I was given to participate. Not only did I get to help people and glorify the Lord’s name, but I got to see how he works in miraculous ways. I will forever be greatful for going to New Mexico with an amazing team of ladies as my first mission trip. I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing experience.

Today, as I was walking to my next task, I saw a very friendly puppy walking around the school’s campus and got some unexpected love from it. My team had an early end to our day, so we were able to have some relaxation before our nightly debrief. So far in the trip, one of us had shared their testimony throughout the week. Except tonight was different, it was my turn to share my testimony. A few months ago, I didn’t know what a testimony was and now I get to write and share my own. Sharing my testimony is probably my favorite part of the trip so far because it really put some things into perspective for me and allowed me to reflect on how the Lord has impacted me and those around me.

Today was probably the best day of the trip so far. I went back to the Algebra 1 class and was able to work with the same student I had been helping before. It was so amazing to see the progress he had made since I had last worked with him. I also got to eat lunch in the school cafeteria, which they call the fellowship hall with my team and a girl we met on the trip. When most of my team had to leave, my staff sponsor and I were able to stay behind and have a deep, intentional conversation with the girl we met on this trip, who also happened to be volunteering. It was such a blessing to have been volunteering at this school at the same time this sweet girl had planned a trip to see her friend.

This evening, I made a last-minute decision to join my staff sponsor and one of the girls on my team to go on a hike that I was terrified of. However, looking back, I am thankful that I went on the hike because it really opened my eyes to what the Lord does. Climbing that mountain showed me that the Lord really is a beautiful creator and that he will always provide you with what you need. Like nature’s stairs, or the strength to conquer my fear of heights and safely make it up and down the mountain with some pretty cool people. The Lord showed me that he is always there. You may be doubting his presence, but that is when he will reveal himself to you the most. Today, the Lord taught me that it’s okay to be fearful, but that won’t hold you back from anything because the Lord will help you to conquer those fears.

Today, I had the opportunity to help out in a few music classes and it was so rewarding. At the beginning of the class, the students and I sat in a circle and it was amazing to see how well behaved and adorable the students were. For the majority of the class, one of the girls sitting next to me really grew a liking to me. She would constantly inch herself closer to me until she was basically on top of me, it was so adorable. At the end of class, we played a game and a little boy came up to my friend and me and said “I wanted both of you in my line,” which was so cute. Working with these yo0ung students was so heartwarming and taught me so much. This experience taught me about patience and how it is a part of everything we do. We need to have patience for little kids, our peers, the Lord, and especially ourselves.

Today, I got to help a student in an Algebra 1 class, which was really cool because it led me to see the importance of a mission trip. This interaction was able to show me that, yes, my team was there to focus on helping the students, but they aren’t the only ones who need help. The teachers and staff needed us just as much, if not more than the students at the school. After the class ended, I was able to stay for a little while and talk with the teacher. She opened up to me and shared a little bit about some personal struggles she was dealing with, which really seemed like something she needed at the time. I was so worried about struggling to tutor the student in Algebra, but I think the Lord used a student’s need tutoring to lead me to the teacher. I believe the Lord had the teacher and I cross paths to teach me that everyone struggles with different things, but as human beings, we are not alone in our struggles. He also used this opportunity to show me that the reward will be so much bigger than the struggle.