Faithful Healing

Today was the first full day of the mission trip to New Mexico. The team and I decided to start the day super early, before sunrise so we could watch a hot air balloon festival. At first, I wasn’t very excited because we were all exhausted from traveling for 12 hours the day before. However, I am glad we took the time to observe the festival because it allowed us to see the beautiful sunrise and rocky mountains that painted a gorgeous picture of God’s creation. After that, we went to the local church, which was difficult for me to sit through because the service was very similar to past experiences I disliked in a different church. Later that day, we made a trip to Walmart to gather some necessities for days ahead of us. Towards the end of our Walmart trip, we were able to help two homeless people by giving them some of our extra food and praying with them. As my team and I tried to make it across the street safely and back to our vehicle, we were almost hit by several cars. While that may not seem like a good thing, it was. Our staff sponsor decided to use that moment as a lesson to show us that the Devil will always try and strike whenever you are doing the Lord’s work. The biggest thing I was able to take away from today is that everyone struggles. It’s okay to struggle because, in the end, it will write a beautiful story that will one day be worth sharing and that story may help others.

On October 22, 2021, my team was given the opportunity to co-host a worship night with Psalm 139, a women’s organization on campus. My Ra team and I were deemed as the prayer team for the night. We stood in the back of the event, spaced out, so the girls who attended would feel comfortable talking and praying with us. For me, this night was like no other. I don’t know how to describe it except to say it was magical. This night is when I realized how powerful the Lord really is. For a good portion of the night, I stood there watching girls go to everyone on our prayer team, except for me. I was starting to wonder why no one was coming up to me when some of my coworkers had several girls coming up to them. I started to ask questions like whether it was because I didn’t look approachable? Does the Lord want me to focus on myself tonight? Then, towards the end of the night, the most amazing thing happened. It was during the last few songs of the night before we closed out the event, and a girl came up to me. She was struggling to speak and couldn’t help but cry. As someone who struggles with physical touch, I didn’t know what to do, so I offered her a hug. The theme of the night was surrender. That night, I put all my trust in God and he worked in miraculous ways. He brought me out of my comfort zone, so he could use me to glorify his name for someone else.

A while back, I decided to fill out an application to go on a mission trip in December 2021. At first, I wasn’t sure if should turn in the application. “The program won’t accept me.” “I don’t know christ well enough to serve.” “I am just starting to find my faith, how can I help someone else?” After going back and forth on whether I should submit the application, I sent it in, thinking I would get turned down. On the application, it stated that you will receive an email to set up an interview time slot to see if you were a good fit for a mission trip team. Well, I never received an email and never had to interview. I assumed I just wasn’t a good fit and was turned down. Then, on September 30, 2021, I received an email from someone on the team for my school’s Global Outreach program, stating that I had been selected to be on a Winter Mission Team. But I didn’t know where I would be going or what I would be doing. A week later, on October 7, 2021, I found out that I would be going to Gallup, New Mexico for 10 days. I never could’ve imagined being given an opportunity to go on a mission trip. I believe the Lord saw an opportunity and chose to work in and through me. I believe the Lord selected me for this trip knowing it would not only glorify his name, but hopefully bring me closer to him.

On August 28, 2021, I had the most incredible experience and my life was changed forever. Two of my closest friends called me earlier that day and asked me to join them and a few others for a worship night in Waco, Tx. I was on track to be around 30 minutes late to this event, but when I got there, it hadn’t started yet. It was like the people hosting the event were waiting for me to walk in the room so they could start the event. In the middle of this event, a local preacher stood up and did a sermon and alter call. That night, I was saved. I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. It was like I had levitated from my chair. This is when I realized that there is a God and that he will always be by my side. I realized the struggles God puts us through are because he knows we can handle them and that they will help us to grow and become better people. God really does great things!

In May of 2021, I finished my Freshman year of college and went home for the summer. I went back to working full time (40+ hours a week) and taking two college classes online. I had overworked and exhausted myself so much, that I became dependent on caffeine. The picture above is when my younger brother took me fishing for the first time and I caught my first fish, a 2lb Bass. The fish may not seem like a big deal, it meant a lot to me because I was really struggling, and my brother realized I needed him. He originally had plans to spend time with his friends before going to work, but he decide I was more important. He cancelled plans with his friends, called out of work, and spent the evening with me. Since this day, my brother and I have been closer than ever. While I may not be home a lot because I am at school, our relationship continues to grow.

In the first few months of 2021, I became a new person. I colored my hair blonde, boosted my confidence, and became someone who takes risks and embraces new opportunities. In January, applications to become a Resident Assistant on campus opened up. Remembering what was said to be previously by my Resident Director, I decided to take a risk and apply to be a Resident Assistant in my current dorm for the 2021-2022 school year. In February, we were hit by a huge snowstorm that left us without power and classes for a whole week. While that week was difficult, the snowstorm was a blessing in disguise. It gave me an opportunity to get closer to my RAs and possible future coworkers. That same week is when I learned that the reslife staff reviewed my application and that I had earned an interview. In March, I was offered a position as an RA in my current dorm. Knowing that this was a faith-based position and that I had been struggling with my faith, I was hesitant to accept the position. However, I knew that I needed to accept the position because I wouldn’t have received the offer if it wasn’t meant to be. That same day, I learned that I would get to be on a team with some of my closest friends on campus. After that, I decided I needed to work on my faith so I could be a good role model for the freshman girls that I would be supporting and helping to transition to college/dorm life. So I found a local church and started attending services every Sunday. I still attend services at that same church when I am in town or at school. I am so thankful that God lead me out of my comfort zone and gave me the opportunity to be in a position to serve others.

In August of 2020, I started college and never could of imagined where this journey would take me. I started off as someone who was painfully shy and was afraid to talk to anyone. I was often focusing on schoolwork and grades while jamming out to some country music. Two weeks after school started. my birthday came around and I felt sad and defeated. My birthday was in the middle of the week, classes had already started, I had no friends, and I couldn’t see my family. I didn’t see a point in celebrating my birthday when I felt like there was nothing to celebrate. Little did I know, that night would change my life. That night is when I met two of the most amazing people, who are now some of my best friends. It all started out with a night of painting in the dorm and then a few weeks later, we still didn’t know each other too well, but I decided to put myself out there. I was finishing a bracelet at the table in the lobby of my dorm and I heard the two girls talking about what they were going to do that day. I decided to walk up to them and ask if I could join whatever they were planning to do. Next thing you know, we are at the local mall and ever since then we have become the best of friends. Because of these two friends, I met my best friend. One night in October, I was invited to go to the dining hall with my friends and a few other people. I happened to sit next to another girl, and we got to talking. We clicked instantly and started hanging out and doing every thing together. Within the first three months of college, I was becoming a new person. I finally had friends! I am so thankful for that day and the beginning of new friendships.

While the year 2020 was difficult for many people, it was probably my best year yet. It was a year of learning and growing, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It all started in March of 2020, when the world was shut down because of COVID-19. During this year, I was working as a cashier at Kroger and being a full-time student. By the time spring break hit, I had been told several times how great of an employee I was. As someone who loves quality time and words of affirmation, I took those words to heart. I held myself to high standards and started working full-time hours while going to school. For what? Because I enjoyed working and because I wanted to continue being recognized as a wonderful employee. This all occurred within 5 months before I started school at the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor. Throughout those few months, I learned a lot about myself and my work ethic. In May, I graduated with a 4.0 GPA, but I didn’t have any friends. I was so focused on school, work, and being perfect that I forgot what really mattered; my family, friends, and the people I choose to surround myself with. Nobody is perfect and there is always room for improvement. Do I regret graduating high school with a perfect GPA and no friends? No. If I didn’t go through that experience, I wouldn’t be where I am today and I may not of experienced what led me to be the person I am today. It’s amazing to see how much someone can change in such a short amount of time.